princesswitchy:

My whole family assumes I’m straight and it’s like if I say anything like “wow that girl is so pretty” they’re like “you’re pretty too don’t compare yourself’ like no mom the only thing I’m comparing is the width between her legs and how well I could fit.

defensivewounds:

kinkstertime:

panic-at-the-dildos:

we Americans act really cocky and assholey about freedom to hide the fact that our government is crumbling and nobody is actually free so please give us this one day to be annoying about it

Kinda feel bad for poor Americans now. A bit like the asshole kid who you realise is only acting like that cuz their parents are cruel and neglectful.

That’s painfully accurate.

louissquad:

did zayn call in sick this day and they just replaced him with someone who looks nothing like zayn

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narcotic:

what if people named their kids when they turn 18 so the kid has a name that fits its personality

mrcomatoseoverthr:

shuckl:

wildy0ungbeautiful:

shuckl:

could i pay someone to take over my body who actually knows how to look after it so they can like. make me healthy again and then let me take over once i’m fit n healthy

You mean a personal trainer and a nutritionist

no i mean some sort of supernatural being who can do literally all of the work for me

So like the ghost of a personal trainer and nutritionist

tourettesandsex:

urbies:

xbostons:

lostboyonadeadthrone:

If your girlfriend has sexual intercourse with another girl. Is that considered cheating? 

If I’m right handed and I punch you with my left, did I really hit you?

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I’ll reblog this every time.