My whole family assumes I’m straight and it’s like if I say anything like “wow that girl is so pretty” they’re like “you’re pretty too don’t compare yourself’ like no mom the only thing I’m comparing is the width between her legs and how well I could fit.
we Americans act really cocky and assholey about freedom to hide the fact that our government is crumbling and nobody is actually free so please give us this one day to be annoying about it
Kinda feel bad for poor Americans now. A bit like the asshole kid who you realise is only acting like that cuz their parents are cruel and neglectful.
That’s painfully accurate.
did zayn call in sick this day and they just replaced him with someone who looks nothing like zayn
what if people named their kids when they turn 18 so the kid has a name that fits its personality
could i pay someone to take over my body who actually knows how to look after it so they can like. make me healthy again and then let me take over once i’m fit n healthy
You mean a personal trainer and a nutritionist
no i mean some sort of supernatural being who can do literally all of the work for me
So like the ghost of a personal trainer and nutritionist